Wednesday, September 20, 2006

all i really need to know...

i learned in sorority. a friend of mine suggested that we write a book based on how sorority prepared us for life. and it make me think - how did sorority prepare me for life? i mean i can make a killer balloon arch now and i know how to articulately say i don't want to be friends with someone without actually saying why. "i think she'd be better suited elsewhere."

this morning it hit me how everything or at least one thing from sorority has prepared me for my "real life." i'm waiting to hear back from a second interview and i realized i haven't been this nervous since January 8, 2000 when i woke up at 6am and waited for 4 excruciating hours to find out if i made the cut or not and again in January of 2002 when i had to wait until they read the list outloud to find out if my darling friend also made the cut. we both did, but the nerves were still much to bear.

now in my real life i'm waiting and longing. longing to only have to wait 4 hours. what seemed like an eternity then, seems so short now in retrospect. i can remember spending all four of those hours in my bed starring at the ceiling praying that the best thing for me would happend and secretly hoping that my door would be passed by with no knock. being a slave to my bed and staring at the ceiling is not an option for me today. i have to get up and busy myself and at this point working out even seems like a viable option. i think i've settled on putting on country music and doing some cleaning and bookshelf rearranging.

i actually said to cayce last night, "que sera sera." and i truly believe it. i just someone would relay the message to the knot in my stomach.