Tuesday, September 26, 2006

the king of (too much) beer

cayce posted the cute picture of us with the arkansas girls, but here's the part she left out. the party started at 12:30pm, and didn't wrap up until about 10:30pm, so after 10 hours of keeping Budweiser in business we weren't too keen on staying out, so we settled on our house and a pizza. as we were walking out of the bar one of our new friends decided he wanted to come with us, no matter where we were going. if budweiser was the king of beer, on this night he might very well be the king of too much beer.

he was one of the new friends that brooke insisted i just had to meet! much like the rest of her friends, i did enjoy hanging out with him at the party. we called the hogs...i taught him how to sic em' bears. why not a little late night. get your mind out of the gutter...it wasn't that kind of late night!

it was a rough day for the hogs getting hunted down and butchered like it was in season by the usc trojans, so who could blame my new friend for drowning his sorrows. and by drowning i mean he probably would have if left alone in any amount of water. so, within 15 minutes of arriving home he had passed out sitting up in the chair. which is also in my room since i'm sleeping in the living room, which is also by my bed, which is the pull out couch.

cayce goes on to bed and i burst in her room, "Umm...what do i do with him?" "Just leave him there, he'll be fine." so i go about my business and get ready for bed. pull out the couch...watch a few minutes of back to the future and fall fast asleep.

exactly 1 hour later i hear this rustling, and i wake up to see him standing over me trying to pick up the matress, and upon closer inspection i realize that his pants are unzipped and i'm eye to eye with his manhood.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING????" "i'mmmmmm going to the bathroooom." "NO YOU'RE NOT, NO YOU'RE NOT, THE BATHROOM IS THAT WAY!!!!!!" so he stumbles towards the bathroom and reaches my closet and starts to open the door. i came flying off the bed faster than two high school kids that just got walked in on by their parents, and literally pushed him into the bathroom just in time.

once he was done, he passed out on the far corner of the bed. and at 6 i felt him jolt straight up and start reaching around and feeling for the ground. "are you confused?" "um yeah, what happened??" "don't worry, nothing happened with me and you." "okay...good." "yeah, i guess...because guess what you did do??"

ps- on further inspection...this new friend is a great guy and the handful of times that we have hung out subsequent to this incicident have each been a lot of fun and thoroughly enjoyable!