as of late, my life finds me in the middle of sorting, packing and moving all of our lexington belongings, trying to work two jobs and doing neither of them well, my mind drawing a mental road map to different places our career could take us, months/weeks of family drama from both families, and it all came to a head saturday night. right here in our little apartment sitting on the side of our bed i had my scarlett o'hara moment broken and ravaged in the field with a dirty face and matted hair... as God as my witness... as God as my witness...
as a culmination of these things, I discovered i have been suffering panic attacks which means i'm not going to drop dead from the dizziness and i'm not going crazy... yet. i was consulted by a doctor to lay off the caffeine...fiddle-lee-dee. now don't let this scare you but as of last week i drank 6 cups of coffee in the morning and then sipped green peach tea for the rest of the day. not one single drop of water. i blame this on my favorite doctor - Dr. Oz, because he told me that it's not about drinking 80 billion glasses of water a day, but about staying hydrated. so i did just that.
sunday was my first full day without caffeine, and it was ugly. i slept in and drug myself to lunch and then drug myself back to the couch for a few more hours of sleep. when i woke up i was battling a mind numbing headache. i don't have regular headaches, but this was enough to make me crazy. it felt like a bad hangover that i didn't deserve. i couldn't even speak.
monday... same headache...great balls of fire! i felt like an addict...how can depriving oneself for mere hours of something cause this much pain? can anyone tell me why ibuprofen doesn't "cure" these? so i tried to trick myself and made a small pot of decaf coffee that tricked no part of this body. round about 4pm i gave in and had a glass of green peach tea. with one sip i felt a sense of normalcy.
so, i'm 3 days into my caffeine limitation, and i have to say - I feel amazing! My energy levels are through the roof, but i'm ready for bed at 10pm and sleep peacefully through the night. i had no idea i didn't have any energy until i actually had energy.
for now i am limiting myself to 2 glasses of green peach tea a day. i figure green tea is good for me, so along with caffeine i'm receiving valuable nutrients. I have one glass in the afternoon and one with dinner. In between my 4 cups of decaf coffee and green peach tea i drink water. lots o' water! so, back on track to living great in 08' and living even better this time.
as for the panic attacks and my overactive brain? those things will all work out for the good...after all, tomorrow is another day!