Wednesday, November 05, 2008

digging deep

I get asked questions about being married a lot. If I like it? How's it been? But the other night the question was posed, "I know what Justin's favorite part of being married is, because it's the same for every man, but what's yours?"

This is an interesting question to me, because I'm big on picking favorites for everything... favorite food, favorite show, favorite products, but had never stopped long enough to consider what my favorite thing about being married is.

I took a minute to consider my answer and was struck with the convicting thought that I could quickly make a list of my least favorite things about being married. I was suddenly embarrassed and ashamed and wanted to hide my face. I love my husband and on a whole consider us to have a deeply happy marriage, so what is so hard about putting into words my favorite part but yet easy to quickly be a negative nancy?

I think if most people got real honest about their marriage they'd admit that there would be a different answer to this question depending on what day you ask. I can be real honest with you, my answer would change every day. I can easily wake up on any given morning having slept with no covers on the edge of my bed and think THIS, THIS is my LEAST favorite part about being married!
I took the time to dig deep into my feelings and push aside my selfish thoughts and truly considered all aspect of our life together to pin point a favorite. You know, nothing has been more humbling in my life than marriage. It's easy to ignore your flaws when there's no one to reflect them back to you.
So, all things considered, my favorite part about being married to Justin is that I have a true protector. He is there by my side when I'm right, when I'm wrong, when I'm not being fair to myself or to others, when I'm beautiful, when I'm hideous. I never have to wonder and the sheer confidence in knowing that truth is enough to make me want to work harder every day at being a better wife and having a better attitude so I can love him like he fully deserves.