Wednesday, July 08, 2009

"accidents" happen.

The following story is guaranteed to be the most embarrassing story on any one's blog that you will read today, probably tomorrow and on into the next year. Allow me to take this opportunity to forewarn you. THIS IS NOT A STORY YOU SHOULD READ IF YOU: are eating, about to eat, have a queasy stomach or the faint of heart. Thank me now for not including any pictures.


As I said in my previous blog, Justin & I participated in an electronics fast weekend before last. According to the fast we were not allowed to watch TV, play video games {xbox or iPhone}, surf the web {blogs, twitter, facebook}, listen to secular music, am I missing anything?

I preparation for my 11 mile run on Saturday I compiled a christian play list and had sermons ready to keep me moving. I was sitting at the breakfast table at 5am that morning reflecting on my run and thought this is probably going to be one of my BEST runs. My christian music is going to put me in such a peaceful mind of worship & precious time with the Lord.

Before I could finish my breakfast I had to go to the bathroom "Big Girl Style." On the morning of a long distance run, that goes into the win column, because it's inappropriate to stop at strangers houses before 6am to ask if you can borrow their bathroom. I then head out the door to hide water bottles in said strangers yards so I can stay hydrated. The minute I walk back in the door I have to go "Big Girl Style" again.

2 times in 30 minutes. I should be Good.To.Go for the next 11 miles! So I warm up and then hit the trail.

1 Mile in: I am 1/2 a mile from my first water bottle which is also at my gym & I feel like I am going to ~pee~ my pants. Seriously, can't think of anything else but HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT!

1.5 Miles in: Make it to the gym, avoiding any accidents & go "Big Girl Style" AGAIN! 3 times in an hour.


4 Miles in: Make it to my next water bottle & hydrate. Two big dogs come out of a yard and start running with me. One in front, one behind. {I am already planning what Justin will wear on the Today show the next week while recapping how I was training for a marathon & got my leg chewed off}

5 Miles in: Dogs trail off as I hit the main road & I am not 1/2 from my house {I was making a loop}.

5 Miles in: Holy OMG ~ I have the go to the bathroom "Big Girl Style" like NOW. When I Call on Jesus begins to play through my headphones ~ when I call on Jesus, all things are possible. I begin to pray ~ Jesus, please oh please, if you answer no other prayers or give me no clarity or no insight the rest of this weekend, please answer this one. LET ME MAKE IT TO MY BATHROOM!

At this point I call Justin thinking that maybe if he's up he can come get me and get me home quicker than I can run 1/2 mile. My insides are hurting so bad that I am about to cry and am forced to stop running and start walking as Justin picks up the phone.

Justin: {sleepy} "Hello?"


Justin: "ummm, are you ok?"

Lesli: "NO! I just POOPED.MY.PANTS!"

No lie, my sweet friends. As I live and breath as a 28 year old woman I had an "accident" to end all "accidents."

He then offered to come get me, but really, I couldn't sit down in our car, so what was the point. Of course THAT was the day that I wore my shorts with built-in undies.

I readily take ANY advice people have to offer about marathon running, and I was prepared for blisters, bloody nipples, hitting walls, but NO ONE warned me about possible "Big Girl Style" accidents! I was mortified to the point of tears when I did get home & all I could think was "Honey, you shit your pants. I think you're done." {Carrie to Charlotte, Sex & the City The Movie}

But, I can laugh about it now and for those of you that think our God is a serious, boring God, please take a minute to picture me having a moment with the Lord as Nicole C. Mullen sang her praises and have a little laugh on my behalf.

Therein lies the story of the "accident" that almost ended my marathon training all together, but for the record ~ I showered, changed and finished my run!