Saturday, November 13, 2004

don't settle for anything less than butterflies

i've been contemplating updating all's my best attempt. i've been avoiding updating lately for the lack of humorous events in my life. lots of serious, emotional junk...i wish not to share.

i mentioned drama in the dc trip, but i never actually addressed what the drama actually was. most of you know this story, but it's an interesting story that i might like to remember later.

so i have a very brief history with this boy, and by brief i don't mean that we've known each other for a short time, but i'd consider the pieces that truly make up our history brief. not once, but twice this boy has kissed me and then humiliated me. the first time he said to me, "I wouldn't mind kissing you," so we kissed, then he pulled away and said he didn't want to do that, b/c he didn't want it to be random with me. not real random, b/c we hung out all the time and there was a mutual attraction. (so i presume) if that's not humiliating enough...out of no where (and i really mean no where...) he big girl kissed me in dc and i thought he was just going to do a european kiss on the cheek thing. of course i was real cool...i pull away and say, "Oh we're kissing like that???" then we kissed some more and i remembered the humiliation, so i pulled away and said, "I don't really want to do this...i don't want you to freak out like last time and regret this..." he says, "I'm not going to freak out...don't worry." so i through inhabitions to the wind and continue kissing him. it had been a while...long enough that when i thought about it i got those very fun butterflies in my tummy. (love that!) so before i leave we figure out when we can hang out again since i would be back in dc. we have it all planned, and i'm to call him as soon as i return. so i do...

it's been three weeks...i still haven't heard from him. not only did this jackass humiliate me once, he did it twice. i've had dreams about why he hasn't called. my favorite...he told me...Lesli, i didn't want to kiss you, b/c i go to church on sunday mornings.

i don't know why he hasn't called, but i really think it's stupid that we haven't talked. did he avoid me? why? i'm dying to email him, but i can't figure out what to say that would make me sound the least desperate. any ideas??

hopefully he's been in the hospital or something...