Thursday, April 28, 2005

yourself, myself

One of my favorite movies is Breakfast at Tiffany's, and since i've already used a quote from another movie this week, why change. funny enough...why change is in a round about way the theme of this post.

It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

recently i have been told on more than one occasion that i am not ok as is. i have felt pressures from other people to change who am i, what i look like, how i act, how i spend my time. i've considered these changes and what they would mean. maybe things would be different if i wore my hair long and straight and added no colors to the naturally dark shade underneath. maybe things would be different if i was more introverted and kept my thoughts to myself. maybe things would be different if i chose to spend my evenings, weekday and weekends, at home or at a movie or getting ice cream. you know, maybe they would.

i can't get passed the thought that even if i changed each of these things that i'd still run into myself somewhere along the path to becoming the person that someone else wants me to be.

Ladies i am having an epiphany. There are two kinds of girls. The simple girls and the katie girls. yes, i could change all of those things, and probably trick a few people along the way. i'd probably be some sweet christian boy's dream girl. it'd be great. they could control everything about me and not have to change a thing because i would be perfect to them with long straight brown hair, milky skin, natural face, high necked shirt with knee length skirt and reef flip flops. but i can't change that. i'll always be myself on the inside, no matter how much the outside changes...

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous

i know this post is not as fun as the kissing post, but a lot can happen in a week, and i had to get if off my chest. everyone is distinctive and different for many reasons. i should probably working on accepting people as is as well. i'm no different.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
psalms 139

i'm glad i'm me, and that you're you. and i'm especially thankful for the people who are glad that i'm me.