Friday, July 11, 2008

on men and their communication skills

i've often said that the first question i ask when i get to heaven will not be about the ark or walking on water, but it will be about the important things like why God made man and woman so different, but then allowed us to fall in love.

this post is for anyone who has ever looked at their husband, their boyfriend, their other half, their man-friend, their dad, their brother, anyone in the male species and thought, "Honestly?" i think one of the things that makes me think, "Honestly?" a lot of the times is the way my other half communicates. He doesn't have BAD communication skills, they are just different than mine. Different isn't bad, you just must be mindful that the man is not you and will never communicate like you.

for example... when asked how we like being married...

Lesli: OH MY GOSH i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE being married to justin! i think it is the best decision i have ever made and i would do it all over again. my life STARTED when i met justin! gush!

Justin: yeah, it's good.

EXACT same sentiment. I know it is, because i wanted to get to the bottom of why he wasn't as happy as me. he was, just didn't use so many words to say it.

which brings me to my point... men have a very hard time expressing anything except for maybe their gas.

a couple of months ago Justin and I were cozied up watching bachelor Matt Grant choose between Shayne and the other girl. We had been enjoying all season and speculating who the lucky girl would be. I picked Shayne, because it was clear that he had a lot more fun with her and chemistry than the other girl... justin picked the other girl. So the end comes around and lo and behold... he picks shayne. We don't talk too much about the ending and go about our night. My husband begins to get quiet... not terribly unusual for him, but indeed quiet. so it begins...

Lesli: "Are you mad?"

Justin: "no"

Lesli: "what's wrong?"

Justin: "nothing"

deafening silence.

so we head to bed... no kiss goodnight, no i love you, no cuddling... SOMETHING is wrong. i wracked my brain in that bed trying to remember if i said something that maybe could have hurt his feelings, or cooked a dinner he didn't like, or bought something he didn't like. i had nothing.

proceed to next day... he walks in from work and gives me a big old hug and a smooch. "Babe, I'm so sorry i was acting like a toad last night." Yeah, what was that all about?

"Well, it made me so mad that Matt picked Shayne, because i know they are never going to work out and you wanted him to pick her... and..."

yes, this sounds as weird to you as it does to me. the moral of the story is: you are not alone! and while it might hurt my husband's heart that matt picked shayne, i'd pick him again and again any old day of the week, month or year.