Tuesday, September 30, 2008

in whose world does this happen?

there have been many times in my life and in this blog i've had the thought, written and said out loud...what goes around comes around or the other version you reap what you sow, and it's always interesting to see how things really pan out for people. i've never written about this relationship on the blog, because at one point in my life it was too painful to share and then when i was finally to a point that i was over it i met my husband and found real, honest to goodness, true love and it seemed like a distant silly memory.

it's worth mentioning now though, because in the past couple of months a series of events have unfolded that have me saying out loud on more than one occasion, "in whose world does this happen?" my world.

allow me to share a brief back story. there was this guy in my life that i thought i was in LOOOOOOVE with. upon further review, it was more settling for a made up love than actually finding love. if you'll believe this, i allowed him to berate me for being fond of the color pink, wearing too much make up, watching Sex and the City and told that i couldn't be a Christian because i liked britney spears. true story. he went on to accuse me of not believing the bible because surely i didn't believe that A man reaps what he sows - (i argued that children are not always a direct reflection of their parents). These words ripped me to my core as i knew that they weren't true, but how could someone i care about so much even dare think these things?

After years (yes, years) of crying myself to sleep at night he reappeared in my life and i sent that email ... you know the one... the email that defined in plain words the raw unedited feelings in my heart to him and said that if he didn't feel the same then maybe we shouldn't be friends. he didn't and we weren't friends anymore. to quote sex and the city, "that was like taking a bullet." from that day forward i decided that my "one" would like me for me... check that... LOVE me for me.

flash forward 5 years later...

there, sitting in my inbox, an email saying... his life had been a whirlwind, he would love to catch up and that he just wanted to talk to me. shock set in and my mouth hung open.

i started thinking about how i would have responded if i was single, but i couldn't figure out a way to email him the double middle finger. then i began plotting the email i would send back as a happily married woman. i chose to not gush over my wonderful new husband and my fantastic new married life. stuck to the basics... live in kentucky not chicago, got married, we travel for work, we are going to own our own business. why has your life been a whirlwind for the past 2 years?

turns out... he met and married his wife 2 years ago. 3 months into it things would fall apart. i tried to push it out of my mind, but i couldn't help but think back to that night on my couch being accused of not believing that a man reaps what he sows.

even still i don't wish him bad karma, marriage is hard work when you're married to the RIGHT person, let alone the wrong person. Marriage woes is not that kind of stuff i go wishing on people... not even him.

apparently someone else does though, because lo and behold who pops up on a hit reality show every week now? oh, his ex wife. that alone would have trumped my double middle finger email, but may i ask again, in whose world does this happen?