This day last year was one of the worst days of my life. It was bad being in the day, but the repercussions of the events from that day still haunt me in my days and my nightmares. Isn't it weird how one day, one event can infiltrate your thoughts for years longer than it takes to unfold in real time? Justin and I have a had rough week... maybe longer than a week, but I've lost count. We've both felt weary and silenced and self conscious and disrespected. It's made us look for small mercies and blessing in every nook and cranny this week. It's amazing what you can see when you open your eyes and look around. It's also made me very thankful that in these events he's my partner and truly my better half.
I woke up the other night at 3am. The burdens in our personal life and professional life were too much to let my mind sleep. I wrestled with the idea of moving to the couch, or working out and I settled on praying. Let me rephrase... I complained the Lord's ear off! Did you know you're allowed to do that? Give it a try... I'm sure the Lord is open to hearing other complaints. I begged for confidence and encouragement and blessings. I wondered about direction and plans and the future.
Then I was drawn to this passage in Isaiah that I feel I have to share with you, my friends.
1 "Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money,come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples, a leader and commander of the peoples.
5 Surely you will summon nations you know not, and nations that do not know you will hasten to you, because of the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, for he has endowed you with splendor."
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed."